Ray

There are many blessing that I am experiencing in this wonderful ministry, I will bring updates soon. For now, I am adding a paper that I wrote two or three years ago about a little boy who attends First Indian Church. Enjoy!

In February of 2005, on a Thursday night, First Indian Church of the Nazarene became a part of my life. I had been asked by a fellow student at Southern Nazarene University to help teach the children. I walked through the doors, was shown the classroom that I would be teaching in and was introduced to the class, four through seven year olds. I was hooked almost instantly, although I certainly encountered some challenges. Ray was the name of my first challenge. Ray was six at the time, and due to his experience with some previous teachers at the church, was convinced that he could do whatever he pleased. That first night as I tried to get the kids settled down for the lesson, Ray ran out in the hall. I told Ray to come back into the classroom and have a seat, to which his response was, “I don’t have to, I can just run around and you will chase me.” It was obvious that Ray was in serious need of structure and discipline. My response to Ray was, “You have to the count of three to be in the classroom sitting in your chair, or I will take you home, it’s your choice.” By the count of three, Ray was in his chair, he was not well behaved, but at least he was there. Over the next few months, Ray and I would have our differences. Ray sat more than his share of time outs and was sent home a few times for various offenses including cussing, talking back to the teachers, hitting, etc. As time went on and Ray began to recognize the structure that was in place, he began to grow.
From February through May I taught on Thursday nights and attempted to get the kids into a routine; structure and consistency is essential for children. Every week we sang Bible songs and had pre-planned lessons and crafts. The kids began to recognize the structure that was in place, and therefore began calming down a bit for class time. Ray still challenged the class rules, sitting in time out and going home with a bad report continued to be common.
In September, upon returning from summer break I felt the Lord leading me to focus my internship on First Indian, so I began teaching during every service. During some class periods I began asking for volunteers to read the story. Ray volunteered often and even began asking before we arrived at church if he could read the story that night. I would tell him that if he behaved well, I would love for him to read the story. Through this time Ray continued to throw fits when he didn’t get his way about something. He often asked if we could go outside to play after our lesson, and sometimes I said no, so he would get mad and say that he hated church and just wanted to go home.
Eventually Ray decided that he would behave during church, and even pay attention to the lesson. He would come and sit still in class and tell others to be quiet if they were talking during the lesson, he wanted to hear the story. He began asking if he could help with various tasks in the classroom, and quickly became a leader. On occasion Ray would have a bad day when I would have to discipline him. Every time that Ray had negative behavior I would pull him out in the hallway and talk to him about it, reminding him that there is always a positive way to handle frustration.
A few months later my dad purchased a manners curriculum for me which I started using with the kids. The kids truly enjoyed the manners lessons. We learned about saying please and thank you, using manners at home, at the dinner table, at church, school, in the car, etc. All of the children began to have better behavior, letting me know that they used their manners, whether at home or at church. They consistently thanked the other teachers and me any time we gave them anything, crayons, construction paper, etc. It was so exciting for them every time that they were thanked for using good manners. During class time when someone was miss-behaving, Ray would quickly point out that they were not using their manners.
Ray continued to excel, and I soon realized that I hadn’t had to discipline Ray in a very long time. One day, he had been behaving so well, sharing with others and helping the younger kids with tasks they were not able to complete. I asked Ray to step into the hallway with me. We had met many times in the hallway because of bad behavior, but this time I wanted to thank Ray for his good behavior. I told Ray that I was so proud of him. I thanked him for his good behavior, for sharing with and helping the other children, for always being quick to help out in any way. When I said this to Ray, the biggest smile appeared on his face. I told him that when I took him home that night I was going to tell his mom how proud of him I have become, that he had changed all of the negative behavior into very positive behavior, becoming the most well behaved student in my class.
Throughout this time, I had also started developing relationships with Ray’s family, his mom, grandma, aunts and uncles. After that particular night I asked one of his aunts if his behavior had improved at home, to which her response was, “NO.” At that point I focused several of our manners lessons on the point that manners are not meant for church alone, but for home also. I reminded the children to use their manners no matter where they happened to be. I encouraged them that they would really surprise their family and their teachers if they used there manners. A couple of months later I asked that same aunt if Ray’s behavior had improved at home. This time her response was, “Yes.” She informed me that his behavior had improved, and that he had a much better attitude.
Ray began Bible quizzing this fall. We had our first quiz in October. Ray placed within the top twenty for his age group. He was the top quizzer from our church. Ray has been transformed within the last year and a half. To God be the glory!